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A man walks into a bar with a blue bird of happiness on one shoulder and a leprachaun on the other

He walks up to the bar, hands over a thousand dollars, orders three scotch and waters, buys drinks for the entire bar and tells the manager to keep the change. The man drinks his scotch and water, the blue bird drinks his but the leprachaun downs his drink in one gulp, throws the glass and smashes the mirror behind the bar.

The manager tells the man that it will cost $200 to replace the mirror, so the man gives him $1500, tells him to buy a new mirror, orders three more scotch and waters, buys drinks for the entire bar and tells the manager to keep the change. The man drinks his scotch and water, the blue bird drinks his but the leprachaun downs his drink in one gulp, throws the glass and smashes the stained glass feature window on the southern wall.

The manager tells the man that it will cost $1000 to replace the window, so the man gives him $3000, tells him to buy a new window, orders three more scotch and waters, buys drinks for the entire bar and tells the manager to keep the change. The manager tells him OK, but if there's any more trouble, they'll all be kicked out.

The man drinks his scotch and water, the blue bird drinks his but the leprachaun downs his drink in one gulp, throws the glass and hits the manager's wife as she's walking out from the back room, knocking her out senseless. The manager is furious, and orders them all to leave.

"Before you go," the manager says, "where did you get that leprachaun from?" The man replies that he found a magical genie, who granted him three wishes. He asked for all the money in the world, and his wallet keeps filling up with money. He asked for all the happiness in the world, and he got the blue bird of happiness. Finally, he asked for a twelve inch prick - and got the leprachaun.

submitted by /u/Bennelong
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