After a day of walking, staggering, then crawling, they are thirsty, starving, and near death. They are about to give up when Juan exclaims,
“Pedro, look! At thee bottom of the dune... it’s an Oasis!”
Pedro struggles to bring his head up to look. “Juan... I think so my friend. I think so... But it is likely a mirage. I am too weak, too hungry, too thirsty. I cannot make it regardless. I must lay down to die.”
Juan remains steadfast. “No my friend, hold on until your last breath, i will venture down, and see if it is real. This Oasis will save us!”
Pedro limply nods, and slumps to the hot sand, as Juan, finding some last reserve of energy sprawls down the sand dune towards salvation. After a few minutes, he has reached his destination. He yells out to his friend, elated.
“Pedro, it’s so beautiful! There is water! A clear pool of the clearest water I have ever seen! And... Oh my God Pedro, there is a beautiful tree!”
“A tree?”, croaks Pedro from atop the ridge.
“But this is no normal tree!”, exclaims Juan, “It is bestowed with the most glorious array of porks! gammons, roast hams! My God Pedro! It’s incredible! It’s a BACON TREE!”
Pedro tears up, elated that he and his friend may get to continue their lives. “It’s a miracle Juan! A miracle from God himself! Please my friend, I do not have an ounce of energy left, please bring me some bacon from this glorious Bacon Tree!”
“Of course Pedro, of course!” Yells Juan with glee. He stands upright, spurred on by the miracle before him, and reaches out, eyeing the most succulent morsel from the Bacon Tree.
In an instant, the moment he touches it, a multitude of sub-machine-guns emerge from the branches - and Juan is annihilated by a hail of gunfire to the chest.
He slumps to the floor, gargling, dying...
“Juan! What the fuck happened!?” Yells Pedro.
“Pedro, do not come any closer...!” Gargles Juan through his shattered esophagus. “This is no Bacon Tree... It’s a Ham-Bush!”
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