The dude is about to laugh at how frail and weak the guy looks, but he happens to catch a glimpse of the dude's shlong, fat as a pepperoni and as long as a cucumber.
"Holy fucking hell!" the guy says. "Not to sound gay or anything, but that's the biggest cock I've ever seen in my life!"
The short dude grins. "The ladies love it. But it wasn't always this big."
"You mean you made it grow somehow?"
The short dude nods. "Yup. An old witch doctor I met on vacation one year told me to rub corn oil on it every night before bed, and it will grow fat as a corn on the cob. Just stroke it in from root to tip, always outward. Try it for yourself. It works..."
The short dude zips up and leaves. The man excitedly runs to the grocery store to make the purchase.
A few weeks later, the same dude is pissing in the same urinal, when the short dude steps up beside him again.
"So? How'd it go?" the short dude asks.
"Terrible! I did exactly what you said, root to tip, root to tip. But my dick is actually getting smaller!"
"You used corn oil? Pure corn oil?"
"Well, they didn't have corn oil, so I bought Crisco instead."
"You fool!" the other dude says. "That's shortening!"
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