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A fella buys a talking centipede for £5,000

He takes it home in small box.

After 30 mins he opens the box and says "Would you like to go for a pint".

The centipede doesn't answer... Raising his voice he repeats the question, still no reply.

Getting angry, thinking he's been done, he shouts the question loudly.

At which the centipede sticks his head out of his box and says

"l heard you the 1st time I’m putting my fucking shoes on".

submitted by /u/10tpeg
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