It was embarrassing and all of the other kids made fun of me for most of my life. Finally, when I was a junior in highschool, my parents sent me to a doctor. “D-d-doctor”, says I, “p-p-please help me. I h-h-h-have this terrible stutter” Doc said “Son, I have some bad news for you....your penis is so large, that it has pushed your spleen, liver, stomach, and lungs further up into your body cavity, affecting your ability to speak, leaving you with a chronic stutter. We can perform surgery to shorten your penis, thereby relieving you of your stutter” I really didn’t want to get my dick chopped, but dangit if I didn’t want to shake that stutter! So I told the doc “O-o-ok, let’s proceed w-w-with the surgery” So the doc inserted the IV and I was off to la la land. Hours later, I wake up, and my stutter is gone! My whole life I have had this nagging speech impediment, and now I am finally cured! I joined the choir at church. I joined the debate team at school. I began to lead public orations.
But alas, there was still a problem...
I was sad that I didn’t have any female attention. After awhile, depression set in and I realized that I wanted my old life back. So one day, after a particularly lonely day, I called my doctor and sadly told him that I wanted to reverse my surgery.
After a moment, he laughed and said “F-f-fuck you”
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