A man is unhappy with his wife
but he doesn't want to divorce her, because she'll get half of his money and assets, so he goes to the mafia to see about getting a hit put out on his wife. The mafia agrees to do it and tells him it will be $50,000. The husband says, "I don't have that kind of money." He was then told to go see Tony, who was retired from the mafia, but still did work on the side occasionally.
He tells Tony his situation. Tony agrees to do it and asks for $20,000. Once again, the husband says "I don't have that kind of money." Tony tells him to go see his cousin Arty, who was looking to join the mafia, but needed to complete a hit first, so the husband could pay pretty much anything and Arty would be guaranteed to do it.
The husband goes to Arty and says, "Look, I know you need this as much as I do, so I pay you $1." Arty agrees and begins following the wife around. About a week later he comes up behind her in a grocery store and begins choking her. A deli worker see whats going on and comes over, but it's too late; the wife is dead. Arty then starts choking the deli worker, and now the manager hears all the commotion and comes over, but now the deli worker is dead too. Arty managed to choke out the manager as well before the police showed up.
The next day, the news headline reads "Arty Chokes Three for $1 in Grocery Store."
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