His mom said to him, "Now Johnny, tomorrow's your tenth birthday! So I will make you anything you want for breakfast in the morning!"
"Anything?" he asked in excitement.
"Anything."
Johnny sat there for several minutes contemplating what he wanted for his birthday breakfast. He finally sprung up and told her what he wanted for breakfast.
Once he told her, the mother's face grew very red with anger and she shouted, "HOW DARE YOU! GO TO YOUR ROOM NOW!"
So Johnny, confused and upset, ran up to his room and cried himself to sleep.
The next morning, Johnny got up and got ready for school. His parents were nowhere in sight, so he didn't have breakfast at home. He decided to stop at a mini mart on the way to school to get something to eat, because you know what they say, "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" This caused him to be late for school.
When he walked into class, the teacher asked him why he was late for school. Johnny replied with, "Well last night my mom told me that I could have whatever I wanted for my birthday breakfast, and when I told her what I wanted, she got really mad and sent me to my room. When I got up this morning, my parents were gone, so I couldn't get breakfast. So I decided to stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat because you know what they say, 'Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!' That caused me to run behind... and here I am."
The teacher looked very puzzled and asked, "Well what could you have possibly asked for that resulted in all this?" Johnny told her what he asked for. The entire class burst into laughter, and just like with his mother, his teacher grew red in the face and very angry and shouted, "GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE NOW! I WILL NOT TOLERATE THAT BEHAVIOR IN MY CLASSROOM!"
Johnny, very confused, made his way into the principal's office and plopped down in the seat in front of a big desk. The principal, very perplexed, asked, "Now Johnny, what are you doing here? You're one of the best students in the school!" Johnny said in response... "Well last night my mom told me that I could have whatever I wanted for my birthday breakfast, and when I told her what I wanted, she got really mad and sent me to my room. When I got up this morning, my parents were gone, so I couldn't get breakfast. So I decided to stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat because you know what they say, 'Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!' That caused me to run behind and be late for class. When the teacher asked me why I was late, I told her the story and she got really mad... and here I am."
"Well what did you ask for that got you into this mess?"
"I don't think I should say. Every time I say it, I get in trouble."
"Nonsense!" The principal chuckled, "This is a safe space, you can tell me anything."
Johnny reluctantly said what he asked for, and the principal was fuming. "THIS KIND OF CHILDISHNESS IS UNACCEPTABLE! YOU'RE EXPELLED!"
Johnny went home, crying the whole way there. Once he got home, his dad was there. He said "What are you doing home from school so early? It's only 11!" Johnny said in response... "Well last night my mom told me that I could have whatever I wanted for my birthday breakfast, and when I told her what I wanted, she got really mad and sent me to my room. When I got up this morning, my parents were gone, so I couldn't get breakfast. So I decided to stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat because you know what they say, 'Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!' That caused me to run behind and be late for class. When the teacher asked me why I was late, I told her the story and she got really mad and sent me to the principal's office. When the principal asked why I was in his office, I told him the story and he expelled me... and here I am."
"Well what did you ask your mother for that got you in so much trouble?"
"I don't think I should say. Every time I say it, I get into more trouble."
The father sternly replied, "I am your father. When I ask you a question, you give me the answer. Understood?"
"Okay..." Johnny says. He proceeds to tell his father what he wanted, to which he became furious and said, "NO SON OF MINE WILL EVER TALK LIKE THAT. AS A MATTER OF FACT, YOU ARE NO LONGER MY SON! PACK YOUR BELONGINGS AND GET OUT!"
(section omitted because this joke is getting out of hand)
Many years later, we find Johnny lost on the streets. He sits next to an old homeless man who looked kind. The old man asked, "How did you get here? You look so young and full of potential."
Johnny sighs. "This all started years ago, my mom told me that I could have whatever I wanted for my birthday breakfast, and when I told her what I wanted, she got really mad and sent me to my room. When I got up this morning, my parents were gone, so I couldn't get breakfast. So I decided to stop somewhere and grab a bite to eat because you know what they say, 'Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!' That caused me to run behind and be late for class. When the teacher asked me why I was late, I told her the story and she got really mad and sent me to the principal's office. When the principal asked why I was in his office, I told him the story and he expelled me. When I went home and told my dad what happened, he kicked me out of the house... and now here I am, with nothing left in my life."
"Well what on earth did you ask for that caused you to lose everything?
"Oh no no no, I'm not telling anyone that! Every time I answer that question, something bad happens."
"Why not tell me? What else do you have to lose?"
"You're right... what do I have to lose?
"Soooooo what was it?"
Johnny sighs again and says, "A cherry pie."
The old man just laughs. Johnny looks very confused. He looks up and says, "Well if you want a cherry pie so bad, go get one from that stand across the street! Here, have a little bit of my cash, if you promise you'll share with me."
"You're right, I should get that pie!"
So Johnny gets up, crosses the street, and gets hit by a bus.
What's the moral of this story, you ask?
...
Look both ways before you cross the street.
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