Jane & Arlene are outside the nursing home, having a smoke. A storm blows in and starts sprinkling. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end and puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
Arlene: What the hell is that?
Jane: It's a condom. This way my cigarette don't get wet.
Arlene: Where'd you get that at?
Jane: You can get them at the pharmacy down the road!
The next day, Arlene hobbles her way into the local pharmacy and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (as she is over 80 years of age) but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand condom she prefers.
Arlene exclaims, "Don't matter honey, as long as it fits on a Camel!"
*pharmacist faints*
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