A captain calls his assistant, "I've got a job for you but first, go to the toilet and jerk off."

The assistant did so and reported back to the captain. Captain said, "Good. How do you feel?" Assistant said, "I feel great sir". Captain said," Good. Now, go back to the toilet and jerk off once more." Assistant did so, this time a bit tired, reported back to the captain.

Captain said, "Good, now take my car keys and drop my daughter home."

submitted by /u/ogloz
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