What is a ghost pirate’s favorite kind of tea?
Boo tea.
(Courtesy of my 6 year old)
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Amit Shah asks NDRF to build central database of disaster-combat tools
Shah was speaking at the inauguration of a two-day annual conference organised by the NDRF on capacity-building of state disaster response forces (SDRFs).
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2FBB7q7
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2FBB7q7
Rajnath may have to adopt balanced approach
These two episodes reflect, partly, the opportunities and challenges that the defence ministry will face.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2YltsDG
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2YltsDG
Is BJP trying to be new Opposition in Andhra Pradesh, Telangana?
Annihilating the Telugu Desman Party (TDP) by getting its members to defect isn’t just sweet revenge against bête noire Chandrababu Naidu.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2FHr5Ud
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2FHr5Ud
Amit Shah asks NDRF to build central database of disaster-combat tools
Shah was speaking at the inauguration of a two-day annual conference organised by the NDRF on capacity-building of state disaster response forces (SDRFs).
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2FBB7q7
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2FBB7q7
Rajnath may have to adopt balanced approach
These two episodes reflect, partly, the opportunities and challenges that the defence ministry will face.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2YltsDG
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2YltsDG
Is BJP trying to be new Opposition in Andhra Pradesh, Telangana?
Annihilating the Telugu Desman Party (TDP) by getting its members to defect isn’t just sweet revenge against bête noire Chandrababu Naidu.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2FHr5Ud
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2FHr5Ud
My wife said she is leaving on account of my sexual fetishes
I said fine! slam the door on my cock on the way out
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My roommate thinks our house is haunted. Nonsense.
I've lived here for 219 years and never noticed anything strange.
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Why haven’t aliens visited our solar system?
Bad reviews , only 1 star
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What's the difference between a musician and a park bench?
A park bench can support your family.
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India facing sea level rise amid severe heat: Centre
India is confronting a range of climate change-influenced effects, ranging from severe heat waves to an increase in the frequency and magnitude of extreme rainfall and rising sea levels, the ministry of earth sciences has warned.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2JdCXOO
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2JdCXOO
Opposition seeks debate on electoral reforms
As many as 14 Opposition parties, including those averse to simultaneous elections, have sent a notice to the Rajya Sabha for a debate that is set to take place next week.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2Xis1JN
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2Xis1JN
Did you know that 2 in 4 people...
Can’t reduce fractions?
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India facing sea level rise amid severe heat: Centre
India is confronting a range of climate change-influenced effects, ranging from severe heat waves to an increase in the frequency and magnitude of extreme rainfall and rising sea levels, the ministry of earth sciences has warned.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2JdCXOO
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2JdCXOO
Opposition seeks debate on electoral reforms
As many as 14 Opposition parties, including those averse to simultaneous elections, have sent a notice to the Rajya Sabha for a debate that is set to take place next week.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2Xis1JN
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2Xis1JN
Sadly, I've lost 20% of my sight
Sigh
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PM Modi holds bilateral talks with US President Trump
The two leaders met shortly after the Japan-America-India trilateral meeting during which Modi highlighted “the importance India attaches to” the grouping.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2ZW7dV1
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2ZW7dV1
PM Modi holds bilateral talks with US President Trump
The two leaders met shortly after the Japan-America-India trilateral meeting during which Modi highlighted “the importance India attaches to” the grouping.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2ZW7dV1
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2ZW7dV1
A ventriloquist is on stage telling a dumb blonde joke...
...when a platinum-haired beauty jumps to her feet. “What gives you the right to stereotype blondes that way?” she demands. “What does hair colour have to do with my worth as a human being?” Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to stammer out an apology.
“You keep out of this!” she yells. “I’m talking to that little jerk on your knee!”
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Why couldn't Kim-Jong Un get into heaven?
Because he had no Seoul...
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If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted
I wish I had a pony.
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'Triple Talaq bill not about religion': Ravi Shankar Prasad
The law minister emphasised that the issue is part of BJP’s Sankalp Patra (election manifesto).
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2LnL4uV
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2LnL4uV
A week in, Speaker turning the tide in House
Unlike his predecessors, Birla has started sitting through longer hours of the proceedings and often delays lunch to allow more first-time MPs to raise matters of importance.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2ZYTvB7
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2ZYTvB7
'Triple Talaq bill not about religion': Ravi Shankar Prasad
The law minister emphasised that the issue is part of BJP’s Sankalp Patra (election manifesto).
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2LnL4uV
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2LnL4uV
A week in, Speaker turning the tide in House
Unlike his predecessors, Birla has started sitting through longer hours of the proceedings and often delays lunch to allow more first-time MPs to raise matters of importance.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2ZYTvB7
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2ZYTvB7
Cognizant injects new life into itself with Zenith acquisition
Following a dismal revision of its revenue forecast, the purchase of this life sciences manufacturing company couldn't have come at a better time.
from Latest stories for ZDNet related to AS https://ift.tt/2Xgq1Sj
from Latest stories for ZDNet related to AS https://ift.tt/2Xgq1Sj
I told my sister I wouldn't sleep with her,
but she incested.
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Today a cable repair tech on my street asked me what time it was. I told him between 8 am and 1 pm.
Insert rimshot
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A man is told by his doctor that he'll never again have a erection.
"It's a very unique case of erectile dysfunction" the doctor says.
"There is only only way to possibly cure it, but the procedure is very risky and unorthodox. You see, I can graft tissue from an elephant's truck into your penis, which could allow you to achieve an erection."
The man, horrified at the prospect of never having sex again agrees to the procedure.
Months later, the man is on his first date after the operation and is a bit nervous sitting across from the beautiful woman at a fancy restaurant. Just then he feels a tingling, foreign sensation between his legs and realizes his penis is bursting to get out his zipper hole. The pressure becomes too great and the man undoes his zipper.
Just then, his penis reaches up to the table, grabs bread from the basket and disappears back into his pants.
The woman's eyes go wide as she looks at the man, whose eyes are also very wide with a stunned look on his face.
"Uh...could you do that again?" asks the woman.
"I...I think so..." the man says slowly. "But I don't know if I can fit another dinner roll up my ass"
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I just found an origami porn channel.
But it is paper view only.
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Youth Cong workers to meet Rahul Gandhi today
The Congress managed to win just 52 of the 543 Lok Sabha seats, only a marginal improvement from its 2014 tally of 44 seats.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/31UL23y
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Amit Shah visits Kashmir today, focus remains on development and security
Shah and home secretary Rajiv Gauba will fly to Srinagar on Wednesday afternoon and return a day later.
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2Yd3n9H
from Hindustan Times - topnews https://ift.tt/2Yd3n9H
A Muslim man came to the USA many years ago.
He found love, got married and had a son.
The son eventually graduated University, found a wife, got married and moved away for job reasons.
Unfortunately, one day the old man's wife passes away, leaving him alone in his house with a huge garden.
After a lot of grief, the man has the idea of bringing the garden to new life. However, not being young anymore, it seems like an impossible task for him alone.
He writes to his son: "My dear son, after your mother's death, I am finally ready to move on. I'd like to bring our old garden to new life. Unfortunately, the task seems to be too much for an old man like me. I know you're busy with work and family, but maybe you could help me with digging over the old patches. This would help a lot. Love, your father."
Some time later he receives a short message from his son: "Father. Please keep away from the patches. It's where I hid the 'Thing'. Your son."
The next morning, combined forces of FBI, NSA and HS invade the property and the neighborhood. They start questioning everyone and search the man's garden inch after inch, soil layer after soil layer. In the evening, they still haven't found anything and finally give up.
The man receives another message from his son: "Dear Father, I'm glad that you want to move on after Mom's death. Work and family prevent me from visiting you right now, but after the recent visit of the authorities your garden should be dug over and ready for renewal. That's the best I could do at the moment. Love, your son."
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A person asked me, "Are you the guy who always brags about weird stuff?"
I replied "No, I'm the guy who takes the longest baths in the city".
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Pompeo at high table: Terror, trade top agenda of talks with PM, Jaishankar
Secretary Pompeo is scheduled to have a pre-lunch meeting with external affairs minister S Jaishankar, followed by a lunch hosted by the latter. He will then call on Prime Minister Narendra Modi before leaving for Osaka the next day for the G20 Summit.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2FwuKUT
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2FwuKUT
India may discuss oil issues with Pompeo
During Pompeo’s visit, New Delhi will seek Washington’s cooperation in getting reliable and affordable energy supply, especially after US sanctions that prohibited the import of Iranian crude from May, two government officials said.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2ZHnAos
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2ZHnAos
UP back to a four-cornered fight as BSP, SP part ways
The logic of the alliance was clear. The SP and the BSP had faced a rout both in the 2014 parliamentary and the 2017 assembly elections (BSP had also lost the 2012 assembly polls to SP).
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2FtzACc
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2FtzACc
Pompeo at high table: Terror, trade top agenda of talks with PM, Jaishankar
Secretary Pompeo is scheduled to have a pre-lunch meeting with external affairs minister S Jaishankar, followed by a lunch hosted by the latter. He will then call on Prime Minister Narendra Modi before leaving for Osaka the next day for the G20 Summit.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2FwuKUT
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2FwuKUT
India may discuss oil issues with Pompeo
During Pompeo’s visit, New Delhi will seek Washington’s cooperation in getting reliable and affordable energy supply, especially after US sanctions that prohibited the import of Iranian crude from May, two government officials said.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2ZHnAos
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2ZHnAos
UP back to a four-cornered fight as BSP, SP part ways
The logic of the alliance was clear. The SP and the BSP had faced a rout both in the 2014 parliamentary and the 2017 assembly elections (BSP had also lost the 2012 assembly polls to SP).
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2FtzACc
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2FtzACc
Fox News Breaking News Alert
Fox News Breaking News Alert
Missouri officer shot while responding to call has died, suspect in custody: police
06/23/19 5:55 PM
Missouri officer shot while responding to call has died, suspect in custody: police
06/23/19 5:55 PM
My dad died recently.
He was in an accident and lost a lot of blood but nobody knew his blood-type.
I’ll never forget his inspirational last words,
“Be positive”.
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Nirmala Sitharaman's budget may aim for structural policy changes
While the coming budget may incentivise job-oriented private investment and focus on skill-development initiatives, the government is likely to persuade banks, particularly public sector ones, to slash interest rates.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2N20GGL
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2N20GGL
Nirmala Sitharaman's budget may aim for structural policy changes
While the coming budget may incentivise job-oriented private investment and focus on skill-development initiatives, the government is likely to persuade banks, particularly public sector ones, to slash interest rates.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2N20GGL
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2N20GGL
Pussy and Bitch
A kid comes home from school and says to his mom, "Mom I've got a problem."
She says, "Tell me."
He tells her that the boys at school are using two words he doesn't understand.
She asks him what they are?
He says, "Well, pussy and bitch."
She says, "Oh that's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our Sandy."
He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement.
He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning."
Dad says, "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she can't handle them. What are the words?"
He tells him, "Pussy and bitch."
Dad says, "OK," and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "Son, everything inside this circle is pussy."
"OK, dad, so what's a bitch?"
"Son," he says, "everything outside that circle.
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We don’t sell to blondes
A blonde walks past a shop as she reads the sign “we don’t sell to blondes” in the window. She goes in to her investigate the situation.
To test the sign she asks the salesman “excuse me, I’d like to buy this TV”
And the salesman responds “I’m sorry ma’am we don’t sell to blondes”
Shocked the woman leaves and returns later in the day now having changed her hair colour to brunette. Once again she asks the salesman “excuse me, I’d like to buy this TV”
To which she is met with the same response “I’m sorry ma’am we don’t sell to blondes”
She begins to get irritated and heads out to get a new outfit- returning the next day in different clothes, with ginger hair, and a new haircut. She then proceeds to ask the salesman “excuse me, I’d like to buy this TV”
To which he responds “sorry ma’am we don’t sell to blondes”
Now she is FURIOUS and heads out to plan the perfect deception. She once again changes her hair colour to black, gets a new haircut, changes her outfit, and even gets plastic surgery to look completely different in an attempt to buy from this shop.
She returns having looked nothing like she did the previous days and once again asks the salesman “excuse me, I’d like to buy this TV”
To which he once again responds “sorry ma’am we don’t sell to blondes”
She lashes out screaming at the man “HOW ON EARTH DO YOU KNOW I’M A BLONDE I LOOK NOTHING LIKE I DID WHEN I FIRST CAME IN HERE”
“Because that’s a microwave” he says.
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Therapist: It seems like you have acute marriage phobia. Do you know the symptoms?
Man: Can’t say that I do.
Therapist: Exactly. That’s the main one.
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My grandad killed 50 German pilots in WW2
He wasn't a very skilled mechanic.
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वर्ल्ड कप: अफगानिस्तान को हराने में छूटे भारत के पसीने
भारत ने अफगानिस्तान को 212 रनों पर ऑलआउट करके 11 रन से वर्ल्ड कप में अपनी चौथी जीत दर्ज की हैfrom Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/31OWHRl
What do you call it when a chameleon won’t change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
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A father says to his son
Father: Son, if you don’t stop masturbating you’re gonna go blind!
Son: Dad I’m over here...
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Pompeo to 'kickstart' 'credible' process to resolve trade issues on India visit
US secretary of state Mike Pompeo hopes to “kickstart” a “credible” and “candid” process to resolve the growing trade difference with India during his upcoming visit as one of the key subjects of discussion along with cooperation on security, energy and space, a senior administration official said Friday.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2FpXpLo
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2FpXpLo
श्रीलंका की जीत ने सेमीफाइल की रेस को बना दिया है दिलचस्प
क्या हो सकती है सेमीफाइनल की लाइन अप? किन टीमों का आखिरी चार में पहुंचना लगभग तय है. आईए एक नजर डालते हैं...from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2Ktbmw4
The day I was born was the most embarrassing day of my life.
A room full of strangers saw me naked and I didn’t talk for a year because of it..
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मोहम्मद शमी फिट होने को खेतों में दौड़े, बिरयानी छोड़ी
मोहम्मद शमी ने पिछले एक साल में अपने खेल व फिटनेस में जबरदस्त बदलाव किया है. आईपीएल 2019 में उनके इस बदलाव की झलक दिखी थी.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2ZEJx7v
To teach me how to swim my dad rowed me out to the middle of a lake and threw me in.
The swimming was easy, it was the burlap sack that gave me a hard time.
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Canadian guy: Let’s watch a movie.
American: Sure. How about The Titanic?
Canadian: What’s that about?
American: Yes. A big one. It sank.
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A fat lady walks into a bar.
She raise her arm showing off her hairy armpits and says “ Who wants to buy this nice lady a drink?” A drunk guy in the back says “I will, I’ll buy the ballerina a drink.”
This goes on a few more times. “ Who wants to buy this nice lady a drink?” “I will, I’ll buy the ballerina a drink.”
The drunk guy tells the bartender how nice the ballerina looks. The bartender replies “ Look, I appreciate you buying the lady drinks, it’s good for business. But I must ask, why do you call her a ballerina?”
The man replies “ I figured anybody who could raise their leg that high must be a ballerina.”
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Correct this sentence: A man runs by a campsite
It’s “A man ran by a campsite” because it’s past tents
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What’s the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheel chair
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President Trump has been taking xanax daily.
He heard it helps with Hispanic attacks.
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My friend couldn’t afford to pay his high water bill...
So I sent him a “Get 'Well' Soon” card.
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‘The Craft’ Reboot at Blumhouse Finds Its First Witch in ‘Pacific Rim’s Cailee Spaeny
Up-and-coming actress Cailee Spaeny is in negotiations to play one the lead in Sony and Blumhouse's reboot of the 1996 cult classic The Craft, Collider has confirmed. Zoe Lister-Jones (Band Aid) has been tapped to write and direct a contemporary reboot, which, according to the Hollywood Reporter, will follow Hannah, a teenager who feels like an outcast at school until she befriends three young women who encourage her to join them in experimenting with witchcraft. They unleash a power that seems to solve all their problems at first, until it begins to consume them, with unforeseen …
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from Collider http://bit.ly/2WTfSG8
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The Best TV Shows on Right Now
We here at Collider know that Peak TV makes it hard to figure out what shows are worth watching, especially in the middle of this deluge of new fall shows. Sometimes you just sit there and look at a lackluster DV-R list and think, "What's that series on HBO about the historical woman who dresses like a man or something?" (It's Gentleman Jack, and Suranne Jones is a gift) -- we're here to help. Each month, we’re polling our Collider staffers to pick our favorite shows on TV right now. Every show is submitted with a …
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I got the words “jacuzzi” and “yakuza” confused
Now im in hot water with the japanese mafia
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You can't run in a campsite, you can only ran.
Why? Cause it's past tents
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How many grammar Nazis does it take to change a lightbulb?
Too.
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I live in Pripyat and I just finished watching Chernobyl
And I gotta say I counted 17 inaccuracies on my right hand alone.
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International Yoga Day 2019 LIVE: PM Modi in Ranchi for signature event
International Yoga Day 2019 LIVE: Setting the stage for International Yoga Day, which is being celebrated on a global scale from 2015, PM Modi has been sharing an asan a day on social media urging people to join the movement. This is the fifth edition of International Yoga Day.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2x6gpdh
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2x6gpdh
Bros Vs. Hoes.
A woman doesn't come home one night. The next day she tells her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house. The husband calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know anything about it.
A man doesn’t come home one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The wife calls her husband's 10 best men friends. Eight of them confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he was still there.
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What do you call Alfred Hitchcock with an STD?
Alfred Itchcock
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International Yoga Day 2019 LIVE: PM Modi in Ranchi for signature event
International Yoga Day 2019 LIVE: Setting the stage for International Yoga Day, which is being celebrated on a global scale from 2015, PM Modi has been sharing an asan a day on social media urging people to join the movement. This is the fifth edition of International Yoga Day.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2x6gpdh
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2x6gpdh
I hate Russian dolls...
They're so full of themselves.
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Giving 118%
What makes 100%? What does it mean to give morethan 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life? To consider these questions mathematically, let use represent the alphabet numerically by identifying sequence of letters (A,B,C,...,X,Y,Z) with the percentages (1%,2%,3%,...,24%,25%,26%).
Then H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = (8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11)% = 98% and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = (11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5)% = 96%. But
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = (1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5)% = 100% and
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = (2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20)% = 103% . And just look how far ass kissing will take you: A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = (1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7) = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work or knowledge will get you close to 100%, and attitude will get you there, it's the bullshitand ass kissing that will put you over the top.
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Marvel’s ‘Black Widow’ Movie Recruits Ray Winstone to Join Scarlett Johansson
Ray Winstone, the rugged star of such classic crime films as The Departed and Sexy Beast, has signed on to join Scarlett Johansson in Marvel’s Black Widow movie, Collider has confirmed. Oscar winner Rachel Weisz will co-star alongside David Harbour (Stranger Things), Florence Pugh (Midsommar) and O-T Fagbenle (The Handmaid's Tale). Cate Shortland is in the midst of directing the film in London. Marvel boss Kevin Feige is producing the film, which was written by Jac Schaeffer. [caption id="attachment_684654" align="alignright" width="360"] Image via Marvel Studios[/caption] Black Widow, aka Natasha Romanoff, made her …
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I was peeing in the pool and the lifeguard blew his whistle.
Scared me so bad I almost fell in.
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The ghost busters enterd the hospital to see their friend who has been diagnosed with cancer
When they walk in their stopped by a doctor who says -Sorry no spawn camping
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A group of people are waiting to get drinks.
That is the punch line.
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Farm sector likely to get Rs 25 lakh-crore budget boost
Finance minister Nirmala Sitharaman, who recently held a pre-budget consultation on the farm economy, told participants that “concerns” of the agriculture sector were a priority.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XoGNh9
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XoGNh9
'Won't allow chanting of religious slogans in Parliament': Speaker Om Birla
The sloganeering was mentioned by the Congress leader in the Lok Sabha, Adhir Ranjan Chowdhury, in his welcome address to the speaker on Wednesday.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2ZuiY4W
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Data wing shaped Congress' strategy
According to the functionaries cited, the Congress leadership relied too heavily on the numbers that were being generated and the inferences drawn from them.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XlW02B
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XlW02B
ICC World Cup 2019: ICC officially approves Rishabh Pant as Shikhar Dhawan's re...
Shikhar Dhawan was ruled of the ICC Cricket World Cup after he failed to recover from a thumb injury.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2KpRBph
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Farm sector likely to get Rs 25 lakh-crore budget boost
Finance minister Nirmala Sitharaman, who recently held a pre-budget consultation on the farm economy, told participants that “concerns” of the agriculture sector were a priority.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XoGNh9
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XoGNh9
'Won't allow chanting of religious slogans in Parliament': Speaker Om Birla
The sloganeering was mentioned by the Congress leader in the Lok Sabha, Adhir Ranjan Chowdhury, in his welcome address to the speaker on Wednesday.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2ZuiY4W
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2ZuiY4W
Data wing shaped Congress' strategy
According to the functionaries cited, the Congress leadership relied too heavily on the numbers that were being generated and the inferences drawn from them.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XlW02B
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XlW02B
ICC World Cup 2019: ICC officially approves Rishabh Pant as Shikhar Dhawan's re...
Shikhar Dhawan was ruled of the ICC Cricket World Cup after he failed to recover from a thumb injury.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2KpRBph
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2KpRBph
Fox News Breaking News Alert
Fox News Breaking News Alert
President Trump speaks live on 'Hannity,' 9 pm ET
06/19/19 5:20 PM
President Trump speaks live on 'Hannity,' 9 pm ET
06/19/19 5:20 PM
‘Top Gun: Maverick’ Will Reportedly Land at San Diego Comic-Con 2019
We're a month out from San Diego Comic-Con 2019 and the lineup is filling up fast. Luckily, a certain sequel with a need for speed is reportedly the latest to sign up for big panel shenanigans. According to Deadline, Paramount Pictures and Skydance Media are planning "some kind of presence" for Top Gun: Maverick, with members of the cast apparently booking hotels as we speak. First of all, booking a Comic-Con hotel in June is a rookie mistake, Tom Cruise, get your shit together. Second of all, though unconfirmed this all seems pretty likely, given that we …
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US to overtake China to become world’s top gaming market in 2019: Newzoo
China, currently the world’s largest gaming market, is forecast to lag behind the US this year in the face of the country freezing game approvals for nine months in 2018.
from Latest stories for ZDNet related to AS https://zd.net/2WTNnwF
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‘Crazy Rich Asians’ Star Henry Golding Launches Production Company, Sets Up Two Projects
Some actors think they've made it when they star in a movie. Others don't think they've made it until they become a movie star. But these days, you haven't really made it in Hollywood until you launch your own production company. Sure enough, hot off the global success of Crazy Rich Asians, rising star Henry Golding has done just that with Long House Productions. At this time last year, most people didn't even know Golding's name, but Crazy Rich Asians changed that in an instant. The press and social media embraced the dashing newcomer, …
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Marvel Making a Return to Hall H for San Diego Comic-Con 2019
After taking a break for exactly one (1) year, the Marvel Cinematic Universe will make its return to San Diego Comic-Con's Hall H panel in 2019, according to Deadline. This is actually some intriguing news, considering that A) Fellow comic book movie-makin' studio Warner Bros. has decided to skip the main stage festivities this year, and B) We pretty much don't know a single concrete thing about Disney's MCU plans following this month's Spider-Man: Far From Home. So what are we most likely to see? An official slate, for one, which would probably …
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Fox News Breaking News Alert
Fox News Breaking News Alert
Trump officially announces re-election bid at rally: 'I will never, ever let you down'
06/18/19 6:02 PM
Trump officially announces re-election bid at rally: 'I will never, ever let you down'
06/18/19 6:02 PM
सोनाली बेंद्रे के साथ अफेयर को लेकर शोएब ने तोड़ी चुप्पी
दरअसल आज से करीब 10-15 साल पहले कहा जाता था कि शोएब अख्तर फिल्म एक्ट्रेस सोनाली बेंद्रे के दीवाने थे और वो उनका किडनैप करना चाहते थे.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2Iq1EbF
सिर्फ 6 रन पर पूरी टीम ऑल आउट, 9 बल्लेबाज़ नहीं खोल सके खाता
रवांडा ने ये लक्ष्य सिर्फ 4 गेंदों में पूरा कर लिया. वांडा के लिए 19 वर्षीय तेज गेंदबाज जोसीन नायरनकुंदीनेजा ने बिना कोई रन दिए तीन विकेट लिए.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2FiK5bD
Mamata to skip PM Modi meet on 'one nation, one poll' today
In a letter to parliamentary affairs minister Prahlad Joshi, Banerjee demanded that the Centre should prepare a white paper on “one nation, one election” instead of calling a meeting “hurriedly”.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2IpJlmT
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2IpJlmT
Sushma Swaraj, Sumitra Mahajan apply for ex-MP cards, signal end of legislative...
Swaraj, 67, and Mahajan, 76, represented Vidisha and Indore, both in Madya Pradesh, respectively, in the 16th Lok Sabha.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2InI6EN
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2InI6EN
Independence of judiciary not a one-time pill, says Chief Justice Gogoi
Gogoi is leading an Indian delegation at the two-day conference of chief justices of members of the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation (SCO).
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/31HCayc
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/31HCayc
India to counter US protectionism with e-commerce, data security bills
Trade relations between India and the US deteriorated after Washington on June 5 withdrew benefits for Indian exporters under the Generalised System of Preferences (GSP) programme.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XXSMPI
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XXSMPI
Three gay guys are sitting in a hot tub....
A load of semen floats up to the surface.....
“Okay guys, who farted?”
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Mamata to skip PM Modi meet on 'one nation, one poll' today
In a letter to parliamentary affairs minister Prahlad Joshi, Banerjee demanded that the Centre should prepare a white paper on “one nation, one election” instead of calling a meeting “hurriedly”.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2IpJlmT
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2IpJlmT
Sushma Swaraj, Sumitra Mahajan apply for ex-MP cards, signal end of legislative...
Swaraj, 67, and Mahajan, 76, represented Vidisha and Indore, both in Madya Pradesh, respectively, in the 16th Lok Sabha.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2InI6EN
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2InI6EN
Independence of judiciary not a one-time pill, says Chief Justice Gogoi
Gogoi is leading an Indian delegation at the two-day conference of chief justices of members of the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation (SCO).
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/31HCayc
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/31HCayc
India to counter US protectionism with e-commerce, data security bills
Trade relations between India and the US deteriorated after Washington on June 5 withdrew benefits for Indian exporters under the Generalised System of Preferences (GSP) programme.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XXSMPI
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XXSMPI
वनडे के इन सात रिकॉर्ड्स को जल्द तोड़ सकते हैं विराट कोहली
11 साल के करियर में विराट कोहली ने कई रिकॉर्ड तोड़ दिए हैं. आने वाले दिनों में बाक़ी बचे रिकॉर्ड्स पर भी विराट कोहली का ही कब्जा होगा.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2WQ2tDA
A very clean joke
A Portuguese, Spaniard, Dane, Finn, Swede, German, French, Italian, Belgian, Austrian, Czech, Polish, Russian, Afgani, Serbian, Brit, Irish, Scot, Sardinian, Corsican, Icelander, Belarian, Romanian, Yugoslavian, Hungarian, Ukrainian, Bulgarian, Turk, Morrocan, Algerian, Liberian, Sudanese, S. African, Zambian, Ethiopian, Bosnian, Nigerian, Angolan, Botswanian, Tanzanian, Saudi Arabian, Kuwaiti, Iranian, Iraqi, Pakistanian, Mongolian, Indian, Burman, Chinese, Cambodian, Laotian, Somalian, Yemen, Syrian, Israeli, Armenian, Philipino, Javan, Australian, Sri Lankan, Malaysian, Georgian, Taiwanese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Puerto Rican, Dominican Republican, Aruban, Jamacian, Cuban, Haitian, El Salvadorian, Guatamalan, Nicaraguan, Costa Rican, Panamanian, American, Canadian, Mexican, Argentinian, Bolivian, Peruvian, Columbian, Brazilian, Ecuadorian and a Venezuelan walk into a bar.
The bartender looks up and says, "Sorry. I cannot serve you without a Thai."
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It must suck to be gay and homeless
You don't even have a closet to come out of!
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पार्टी वाले वीडियो पर भड़के शोएब, सानिया को लेकर कही ये बात
इस पार्टी में पाकिस्तानी खिलाड़ियों के साथ उनकी पत्नि भी वहां मौजूद रहीं. सोशल मीडिया पर जो फोटो वायरल हो रही है, उसमें पाकिस्तानी क्रिकेटर शोएब मलिक के साथ उनकी पत्नी व भारतीय टेनिस खिलाड़ी सानिया मिर्जा भी अपने बच्चे के साथ दिखाई दे रही हैं.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी https://hindi.news18.com/news/sports/cricket-world-cup-shoaib-malik-getes-agrey-over-shisha-cafe-video-says-maintain-respect-levels-in-regards-to-our-families-2112187.html
बांग्लादेश Vs वेस्टइंडीज़: अगर आपने मैच नहीं देखा तो ये खबर
शाकिब ने 124 रनों की पारी खेली. जबकि दास ने 94 रन बना कर 42वें ओवर में ही बांग्लादेश को धमाकेदार जीत दिला दी.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी https://hindi.news18.com/news/sports/cricket-icc-world-cup-2019-all-round-shakib-show-inspires-bangladesh-to-victory-over-west-indies-2112172.html
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example:
Jane ate her friend's lunch.
Jane ate her friend's colon.
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बांग्लादेश की दबंग जीत, टूट गए वर्ल्ड कप के ये बड़े रिकॉर्ड
आईसीसी क्रिकेट वर्ल्ड कप 2019 में बांग्लादेश ने वेस्टइंडीज को 7 विकेट से हरा दिया, इस जीत के बाद उसने कई रिकॉर्ड अपने नाम कर लियेfrom Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी https://hindi.news18.com/photogallery/sports/cricket-bangladesh-becomes-the-first-team-to-chase-320-plus-more-than-a-once-in-world-cup-history-2112124.html
PM Modi to meet party chiefs to deliberate on joint polls
On June 20, all MPs of the Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha will exchange views with the government at a dinner meeting, the Union minister said.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2wUXbqV
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2wUXbqV
Why did Stalin only write in lowercase?
Because he hated Capitalism
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Fox News Breaking News Alert
Fox News Breaking News Alert
Gary Woodland holds off Brooks Koepka to win US Open
06/16/19 6:35 PM
Gary Woodland holds off Brooks Koepka to win US Open
06/16/19 6:35 PM
Two friends are having a chat in a bar.
Chris: Hey can I borrow a ten?
Kristen: sure.
Christen: Thank you.
Kris: Anytime.
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कप्तान सरफराज में दिमाग नहीं: शोएब अख्तर
शोएब के मुताबिक टॉस जीतने के बाद पाकिस्तान को खुद बैटिंग करनी चाहिए थी. उन्होंने कहा कि इतिहास गवाह है कि पाकिस्तान की टीम भारत के खिलाफ चेज़ नही कर पाई है इसके बावजूद कप्तान ने पहले गेंदबाजी करने का फैसला किया.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2KSzLL3
You've all heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51?"
Well, late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their "secret" base. They immediately impounded the aircraft and hauled the pilot into an interrogation room. The pilot's story was that he took off from Vegas, got lost, and spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot and held him overnight during the investigation. By the next day, they were finally convinced that the pilot really was lost and wasn't a spy. They gassed up his airplane, gave him a terrifying "you-did-not-see-a-base" briefing, complete with threats of spending the rest of his life in prison, told him Vegas was that-a-way on such-and-such a heading, and sent him on his way. The day after that though, to the total disbelief of the Air Force, the same Cessna showed up again. Once again, the MP's surrounded the plane... Only this time there were two people in the plane. The same pilot jumped out and said, "Do anything you want to me, but my wife is in the plane and you have to tell her where I was last night!"
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Last night I asked a homeless girl if I could take her home with me.
She said yes, but then got pissed when I walked away with her cardboard box
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वर्ल्ड कप: पाकिस्तान का कोच बनना चाहते हैं रोहित शर्मा!
पाकिस्तान के खिलाफ टीम इंडिया के ओपनर रोहित शर्मा जीत के सबसे बड़े हीरो रहे. उन्होंने केएल राहुल के साथ मिलकर पहले विकेट के लिए 136 रनों की साझेदारी की.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2WNAQpC
जीत के वो 5 हीरो जिसने पाकिस्तान का सफाया कर दिया
टीम इंडिया ने वर्ल्ड कप में लगातार सातवीं बार पाकिस्तान को हरा दिया. आईए एक नजर डालते हैं जीत के पांच हीरो पर जिसने पाकिस्तान के छक्के छुड़ा दिए...from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2MOAiA5
भारत Vs पाकिस्तान: अगर आपने मैच नहीं देखा तो ये खबर पढ़ें
रोहित ने सिर्फ 85 गेंदों पर अपना शतक पूरा किया. रोहित के वनडे करियर का ये 24वां शतक था. इस वर्ल्ड कप में ये उनका दूसरा शतक था.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2IKuDpt
Multi-agency body to track all terrorism cases in J-K
The group was initially set up to evaluate evidence when the Centre had decided to declare Jammat-e-Islami (Jammu and Kashmir) and the Jammu Kashmir Liberation Front (JKLF) as banned organisations under the Unlawful Activities (Prevention) Act.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2Zu0S33
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2Zu0S33
Multi-agency body to track all terrorism cases in J-K
The group was initially set up to evaluate evidence when the Centre had decided to declare Jammat-e-Islami (Jammu and Kashmir) and the Jammu Kashmir Liberation Front (JKLF) as banned organisations under the Unlawful Activities (Prevention) Act.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2Zu0S33
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2Zu0S33
जोंटी रोड्स ने अपनी बेटी का नाम इंडिया रोड्स क्यों रखा
दक्षिण अफ्रीकी क्रिकेटर जोंटी रोड्स ने अपनी बेटी का नाम इंडिया रोड्स इसलिए रखा क्योंकि वह भारत में जन्मीं हैं. इंडिया रोड्स का जन्म भारत के मुम्बई महानगर में हुआ.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2ZvvX6x
My wife just gave birth today and after thanking the doctor, I pulled him aside and sheepishly asked, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"
He winked at me and said, "I'm off duty in 10 minutes - meet me in the car park".
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What is Forrest Gump’s password
1forrest1
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I got fired from the bank
I don’t know why, the people seemed to love me.
Everybody that spoke to me gave me a tip!
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भारत-पाक भिड़ंत के वो किस्से,जो लोगों के दिलों में अमर हो गए
from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2KlD1iI
Three men with tiny body parts meet up...
One has tiny hands, one has tiny feet, and one has a tiny penis. They all think theirs are the tiniest in the world. So they go to Guinness World Records to make it official. The first guy walks in, and comes out with a plaque in his hand and a big smile on his face, and says, “I have the tiniest hands in the world!” The second guy walks in, and comes out with a plaque in his hand and a big smile on his face, and says, “I have the tiniest feet in the world!” The last guy walks in, and comes out empty handed, looking angry, and says, “Who the fuck is u/StevenFitz77 ?”
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'Learn Bengali, respect state's culture to stay here': Mamata Banerjee
Reacting to Banerjee’s statement, the BJP’s Bengal unit vice-president Jay Prakash Majumdar said she was trying to create a divide between the Bengali and non-Bengali population to gain lost ground.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XcCw0i
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XcCw0i
'Learn Bengali, respect state's culture to stay here': Mamata Banerjee
Reacting to Banerjee’s statement, the BJP’s Bengal unit vice-president Jay Prakash Majumdar said she was trying to create a divide between the Bengali and non-Bengali population to gain lost ground.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XcCw0i
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XcCw0i
What's a lesbian neanderthal's favorite past time?
Finger painting caves
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from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! http://bit.ly/2XLPbEw
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Sachin Tendulkar sues Australian cricket bat maker over $2 mln in royalties
Tendulkar said Sydney-based Spartan Sports International agreed in 2016 to pay him at least $1 million a year to use his image, logo and promotional services to sell “Sachin by Spartan” sporting goods and clothing.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2MNocqU
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2MNocqU
Sachin Tendulkar sues Australian cricket bat maker over $2 mln in royalties
Tendulkar said Sydney-based Spartan Sports International agreed in 2016 to pay him at least $1 million a year to use his image, logo and promotional services to sell “Sachin by Spartan” sporting goods and clothing.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2MNocqU
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2MNocqU
Modi is the PM, I'm the CM, we need to work together: Jagan Mohan Reddy
In a conversation with HT, newly-elected chief minister of Andhra Pradesh Jaganmohan Reddy talks about his plans for the state, his relationship with the Centre, and the upcoming Parliament session.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XfI4XO
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XfI4XO
Modi is the PM, I'm the CM, we need to work together: Jagan Mohan Reddy
In a conversation with HT, newly-elected chief minister of Andhra Pradesh Jaganmohan Reddy talks about his plans for the state, his relationship with the Centre, and the upcoming Parliament session.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XfI4XO
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XfI4XO
Before you criticize someone, try walking a mile in their shoes...
Then you’ll be a mile away and you have their shoes.
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Why did the hen share her crayons with the rooster?
So the cock could doodle too
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from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! http://bit.ly/2WKEZLj
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What did the left eye say to the right eye?
"Between you and me, something smells"
(Credit to a 9 y.o. I thought it was funny)
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Doctor: “The results of your bold test have come in.”
Me: “You mean blood test?”
The doctor double-checks the results.
Doctor: “Hm, must be a Type-O.”
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My girlfriend started lying to me because of all my bad jokes.
We have always been such a happy couple and everything was fine for 3 years straight. Of course I always felt comfortable in front of her and felt like I can tell her anything. That's where I was wrong.
A few months ago I noticed that she became annoyed by my dumb jokes that were only funny to me, but that just made it even funnier to me so I continued telling all these dad jokes to her and died laughing every time.
She puts up with it because she loves me. At least I thought so.
We were always 100% honest with each other and I'm still shaken by the things she told me today.
I sent her probably one of my worst dad jokes ever (that I stole from reddit), and she just couldn't take it anymore and told me how stupid my jokes are and that she doesn't know if she'll be able to put up with it much longer.
But that's not the worst part, I actually appreciated her honesty and considered the possibility to stop with all the stupid jokes and become more serious in the relationship.
The worst part is that she lied to me for the first time in all these years. I felt like I just couldn't trust her anymore and everything I thought I knew about her as a person just became questionable. I need your advice on how to react to this huge lie...
She told me she's Sorry, but I know for a FACT that her name is Diane.
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from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! http://bit.ly/2RliITc
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AN-32 may be taken off critical operations
According to three senior IAF officers, who asked not to be named, the AN-32, seen as a workhorse for the force, may be taken off duties that involve flying over mountainous regions and oceans out of safety concerns.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/31BpYz4
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/31BpYz4
AN-32 may be taken off critical operations
According to three senior IAF officers, who asked not to be named, the AN-32, seen as a workhorse for the force, may be taken off duties that involve flying over mountainous regions and oceans out of safety concerns.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/31BpYz4
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/31BpYz4
Veggie 'meat' may usher in the next diet revolution
Disruptive food technology and novel trends and technology are in line with the scientifically-validated Planetary Health Diet that can prevent 11 million deaths from under nutrition and food-related diseases.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XiC4Og
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XiC4Og
Veggie 'meat' may usher in the next diet revolution
Disruptive food technology and novel trends and technology are in line with the scientifically-validated Planetary Health Diet that can prevent 11 million deaths from under nutrition and food-related diseases.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XiC4Og
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2XiC4Og
After an hour of gathering up his courage, a shy guy finally approaches the attractive girl at the end of the bar. “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?”
She yells, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight, you pig!”
Everyone in the bar stops and stares. Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table, redfaced.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles and says, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. I’m a graduate student in psychology, and I’m studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations.”
To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, “What do you mean $200 for a BJ?”
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सहवाग बोले- कोई अगर-मगर नहीं जीतेगा तो हिन्दुस्तान ही
from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2WzzTkM
What's the difference between politics and anatomy?
In anatomy, the asshole is at the bottom.
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वर्ल्ड कप 2019: 4 मैच में 39 छक्के, गेल के डर से कांप रहा है
इस बार वर्ल्ड कप में गेल ने कोई बड़ी पारी नहीं खेली है. ऐसे में वो भूखे शेर की तरह इंग्लैंड के गेंदबाज़ों पर हमला कर सकते हैं.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2Xdu011
वर्ल्ड कप 2019: शोएब मलिक को टीम में रखने को लेकर मचा बवाल
वर्ल्ड कप के दो मैचों में शोएब ने अब तक सिर्फ 8 रन बनाए हैं. ऑस्ट्रेलिया के खिलाफ तो वो खाता भी नहीं खोल सकेfrom Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2IDcppY
Pompeo to focus on defence, trade ties during visit to India
In a speech roughly etching the contours of his planned June 24 visit, Pompeo confirmed the US approval and offer of sale of high-tech defence equipment to India such as armed drones, Terminal High Altitude Area Defence (THAAD) and Patriot-3.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2F5IRR2
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2F5IRR2
After Anantnag terror attack, CRPF may change J&K deployment drill
Motorcycle-borne militants gunned down five CRPF troopers on one of the busiest roads in south Kashmir’s Anantnag on Wednesday in the first major terrorist strike since the killing of 40 soldiers by a suicide bomber in Pulwama on February 14.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2WDErLM
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2WDErLM
A man walks into a library and asks for a book on suicide...
The librarian says "Fuck off! You're not gonna bring it back!"
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from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! http://bit.ly/2WHwf8q
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Pompeo to focus on defence, trade ties during visit to India
In a speech roughly etching the contours of his planned June 24 visit, Pompeo confirmed the US approval and offer of sale of high-tech defence equipment to India such as armed drones, Terminal High Altitude Area Defence (THAAD) and Patriot-3.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2F5IRR2
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2F5IRR2
After Anantnag terror attack, CRPF may change J&K deployment drill
Motorcycle-borne militants gunned down five CRPF troopers on one of the busiest roads in south Kashmir’s Anantnag on Wednesday in the first major terrorist strike since the killing of 40 soldiers by a suicide bomber in Pulwama on February 14.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2WDErLM
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2WDErLM
Beijing expects 1 billion 5G mobile devices in China by 2024
Beijing, Shenzhen, Shanghai, Guangzhou, and Chengdu have been identified as the top five Chinese cities to lead 5G development.
from Latest stories for ZDNet related to AS https://zd.net/2X8TmwT
from Latest stories for ZDNet related to AS https://zd.net/2X8TmwT
What kind of women get the most flowers on March 8?
The ones who die on March 7.
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Gujarat on alert as Cyclone Vayu nears
After touching Gujarat coast, the cyclone is likely to move parallel to Saurashtra and Kutch, bringing rain to Amreli, Gir Somnath, Diu, Junagarh, Porbandar, Rajkot, Jamnagar, Dwarka and Kutch.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2WvSVbO
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2WvSVbO
India unlikely to resume Iran oil import, may talk losses with US
New Delhi is expected to raise the economic losses due to US sanctions when secretary of state Mike Pompeo visits India on June 24, the officials said.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2MUn8ls
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2MUn8ls
Peaceful Amarnath Yatra may decide poll dates in Jammu and Kashmir
The state was put under President’s rule on December 19 last year after none of the political parties had staked claim to form government, and it is likely to be extended for another six months
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2MIIcet
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2MIIcet
Pompeo to focus on 'ambitious agenda' for India-US partnership
This is Pompeo’s first standalone visit to India as secretary of state. He first visited India in September 2018 with then secretary of defense James Mattis for the inaugural edition of the 2+ ministerial dialogue.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2Kf8HWH
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2Kf8HWH
Gujarat on alert as Cyclone Vayu nears
After touching Gujarat coast, the cyclone is likely to move parallel to Saurashtra and Kutch, bringing rain to Amreli, Gir Somnath, Diu, Junagarh, Porbandar, Rajkot, Jamnagar, Dwarka and Kutch.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2WvSVbO
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2WvSVbO
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. Clearly impressed, he buys a pack.
Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.
“Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “What makes them so special?”
“There are three colors”, he replies, “Gold, Silver and Bronze.”
“What color are you going to wear tonight?”, she asks cheekily. “Gold of course”, says the man proudly.
The wife responds wryly, “Why don’t you wear Silver? It would be nice if you came second for a change.”
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ऑस्ट्रेलिया- पाकिस्तान मैच से पहले गायब हो गया स्कोरर
जब उस स्कोरर को फोन किया गया तो उसने कहा कि उन्हें इस बात की कोई जानकारी नहीं थी कि वो इस मैच में स्कोरिंग का काम कर रहे हैं.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2F6vQGN
ऑस्ट्रेलिया Vs पाकिस्तान: आपने मैच नहीं देखा तो ये खबर पढ़ें
इस जीत साथ अब ऑस्ट्रेलिया की टीम प्वाइंट्स टेबल पर दूसरे नंबर पर आ गई हैfrom Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/31uWGSj
What do you call an argument you have while you're high?
Grass fed beef.
BTW I came up with this myself.
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NSFW An Alabama girl comes home...
An Alabama girl comes home from college after dropping out. Her dad answers the door and asks her, “what the hell are you doing here?” She answers that she dropped out of college and wants to become a prostitute, and needs a place to stay. He shouts, “No way in hell are you becoming a prostitute! That’s not how I raised you! You can stay in your old room but you MAY NOT become a prostitute!”
They procede to argue back and forth and back and forth, louder and louder until even the neighbors could hear! Eventually, she storms past him, up the stairs, into her old room, and then slams the door shut and locks it.
She sighs in despair, and turns around, only to see her brother lying naked on her bed. Before she could say anything, he asks, “is there a family discount?”
This is my first post on r/Jokes! Hope you liked it!
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Did you know that protons have mass ?
Lol i din't even knew they were catholic
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A drunk woman, stark naked, gets into a taxi in New York City.
The cab driver, an old Jewish gentleman, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman, but made no attempt to start the cab.
The woman glared back at him and said "What's wrong with you, honey? Haven't you seen a naked woman before?"
The old Jewish guy slowly answered "Let me tell you sumsing, lady. I vasnt staring at you like you tink. Dat vould not be proper."
The woman giggled and responded "Well, if you're not staring at my boobs or my butt, sweetie, what are you doing then?"
He paused for a moment, then told her “Vell.... M'am, I am looking, and I am looking, and I am tinking to myself, vair in Da hell is dis lady keeping de money to pay for dis ride?"
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from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! http://bit.ly/2WF9FSM
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वर्ल्ड कप हुआ 'पानी-पानी', भारत के अगले दो मैच पर भी सस्पेंस
मौसम विभाग ने इस हफ्ते पूरे इंग्लैंड में भारी बारिश की चेतावनी दी है. इसके चलते इंग्लैंड के दक्षिण पूर्व में बाढ़ का खतरा भी मंडरा रहा है.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2Ws3HzK
What do drain cleaner and a Dutch stripper have in common?
They both slowly remove clogs
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from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! http://bit.ly/2MG241W
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इस बार गेल नहीं ये बल्लेबाज़ लगा रहा रहा छक्कों की झड़ी
वैसे तो वर्ल्ड कप के ये शुरुआती दिन हैं. लेकिन अभी से ही बल्लेबाजों के बीच हर मोर्चे पर नंबर वन बनने की होड़ सी लग गई है. आइए एक नज़र डालते हैं कि कौन बल्लेबाज़ छक्का लगाने की दौड़ में फिलहाल सबसे आगे चल रहा है.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2RbmMVR
मिस्बाह उल हक ने पाकिस्तानी टीम को लेकर कर दी ये बड़ी भविष्यवाणी
पिछले दिनों मिस्बाह उल हक ने ये भी कह था कि पाकिस्तान के खिलाफ भारत का पलड़ा भारी रहेगा. भारत और पाकिस्तान के बीच रविवार को ओल्ड ट्रैफर्ड के मैदान पर मुकाबला होगा.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2R5tGMd
मुश्किल में टीम इंडिया, धवन के खेलने पर सस्पेंस
धवन के स्कैन के बाद फिजियो पैट्रिक फरहार्ट गुरुवार को ट्रेंटब्रिज में न्यूजीलैंड के खिलाफ अगले मैच में उनके खेलने पर फैसला करेंगे.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2MDOGeC
Samajwadi Party supremo Mulayam Singh Yadav admitted to Gurgaon hospital
Yadav was admitted to Medanta Hospital after being flown from Lucknow, the SP spokesperson said.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2Wt3xs2
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2Wt3xs2
फिर लौटता दिख रहा 1992 का इतिहास, कहीं अफ्रीका न ले जाए कप...
अब कोई चमत्कार ही साउथ अफ्रीका को सेमीफाइनल में पहुंचा सकता है. लेकिन क्रिकेट अनिश्चितताओं का खेल है. यहां कभी भी कुछ भी हो सकता है.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2WBhU29
I adopted a female dog. Her name is
Karma. Karma is a bitch.
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from Jokes: Get Your Funny On! http://bit.ly/2I5BD14
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Watch the Square Enix E3 2019 Press Conference Live Stream
Watch the Square Enix E3 2019 press conference live stream
The Square Enix E3 2019 press conference will begin at 6 PM Pacific Time/9 PM Eastern Time on Monday, June 10. Watch the events unfold by checking out the live stream in the player below!
RELATED: Watch the Bethesda E3 2019 Showcase Live Stream
Marvel fans can rejoice as Square Enix’s Marvel’s Avengers game was confirmed for this year’s E3. Very little is known about the Crystal Dynamics’ title and publisher Square Enix has kept quiet since the initial announcement of the game, previously known as The Avengers Project, two years ago. In January 2017, a reveal trailer for the game was released with the hashtag “Reassemble.”
The new Final Fantasy VII Remake trailer was revealed a month ago ahead of Square Enix’s Showcase at E3, though don’t be surprised if additional details about the game are announced during the live stream.
E3 is the world’s premier event for computer and video games and related products. At E3, the video game industry’s top talent pack the Los Angeles Convention Center, connecting tens of thousands of the best, brightest, and most innovative in the interactive entertainment industry. For three exciting days, leading-edge companies, groundbreaking new technologies, and never-before-seen products will be showcased. E3 connects you with both new and existing partners, industry executives, gamers, and social influencers providing unprecedented exposure to the entire video game industry, all under one roof.
What are you hoping gets announced during the Square Enix live stream? Sound off in the comments below!
The post Watch the Square Enix E3 2019 Press Conference Live Stream appeared first on ComingSoon.net.
from ComingSoon.net http://bit.ly/2WSF1Vx
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Samajwadi Party supremo Mulayam Singh Yadav admitted to Gurgaon hospital
Yadav was admitted to Medanta Hospital after being flown from Lucknow, the SP spokesperson said.
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2Wt3xs2
from Hindustan Times - topnews http://bit.ly/2Wt3xs2
अजब संयोग: ऑस्ट्रेलिया के खिलाफ जीत यानी भारत का चैंपियन बनना तय!
क्रिकेट अनिश्चितताओं का खेल है. यहां कभी भी कुछ भी हो सकता है. ऐसे में आकड़ें और अनुमान इस खेल को और भी दिलचस्प बना देते हैं. ऐसे में सवाल उठने लगें हैं कि क्या इस बार ऑस्ट्रेलिया के खिलाफ जीत के बाद टीम इंडिया का चैंपियन बनना तय है?from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2MBSE7w
युवराज सिंह आज कर सकते हैं संन्यास का ऐलान
बीसीसीआई के एक सीनियर अधिकारी ने हाल में बताया था कि युवराज अंतरराष्ट्रीय और प्रथम श्रेणी क्रिकेट से संन्यास के बारे में सोच रहे हैं.from Latest News क्रिकेट News18 हिंदी http://bit.ly/2WZyBUr
Last night, I asked my wife what she'd do if i won the lottery..
The wife says "Easy, I'd take half and leave your ass."
"Cool, I hit a scratch off for $12, here's $6."
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In America, dogs are K9.
In China, dogs are E10.
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Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu. You get what you deserve.
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My friend said, "Congratulations on your new job. How did you get it?" I replied, "The same way the Virgin Mary got Jesus." He laughed, "A miracle?!"
I said, "No. Sex that I can't tell anyone about."
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