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So there was this magical forest with a marble statue of two nude lovers holding hands.

They stood tall in the center of the magical forest for hundreds of years. One day, by happenstance, the Spirit of the Forest reflected on the two lovers and felt pity for them. He decided to bring them to life. He mustered up enough of his magical power to cast a spell allowing them to be living humans for 30 minutes.

They immediately locked eyes. Their faces overcome with joy. They embraced each other at once for the first time ever. Without even glancing at the Spirit of the Forest, they darted into the forest hand-in-hand, robes falling off their nude bodies as they nestled and rustled about in the magical woods.

15 minutes later they emerged from the woods, their faces glowing with happiness. They approached with Spirit and gave him many thanks and said they were ready to go back to being statues. The Spirit told them that the spell would last another 10 minutes at least.

Slowly, the woman looked up at the man. Their eyes met again. Their hands instantly locked. The woman spoke, "Oh..My..God... This time, will YOU hold down the pigeon so I can shit on its head?!!?"

submitted by /u/cry0fth3carr0ts
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