What audiences have seen on Sister Wives is that the ideal life Kody and his four wives preach about polygamous marriage doesn’t usually match the reality. Besides the idea that Meri, Janelle, Christine, and Robyn all have a loving, jealousy-free sisterhood as they bond over the husband they share, there is also the idea that Kody is the unquestioned head of the household. As the patriarch, the wives are expected to defer to his every decision, but there have been many times when that is not the case.
The fact that Kody’s marriages have lasted this long is incomprehensible to most viewers. Considering two of his wives were divorced from other spouses before they married, Kody says they can and have left an unhappy marriage. Perhaps the fact that their marriage to Kody is a "spiritual union," which is eternally binding, has played a part in the wives continuing in this relationship, even as they and Kody gradually become more and more miserable. The unhappier they get, the more the wives choose their own path, ignoring what the family patriarch tells them.
Everyone knows about Meri’s catfishing scandal, when she ended up emotionally cheating on her husband after no longer getting love and support from Kody. Meri’s bed and breakfast was another quasi-act of rebellion, as Kody didn’t approve. When Meri breached the subject with the family, Kody said, “What value is this to us?” Despite his unwillingness to financially assist Meri and his insistence that it wouldn’t make money, she went ahead with her dream. Even Meri’s attempt to reignite her relationship with her husband is rebellious, as Kody not-so-subtly tried to talk her into divorcing him as the couple “celebrated” their 30th wedding anniversary.
Christine once walked out of the show and her marriage. She was struggling with Kody bringing Robyn into the marriage, as this was the first time she had to deal with a new wife. When she found out Kody picked out Robyn’s wedding dress, it upset her so much that she left the show and Kody. The show edited the moment to make it look like she was gone for a few minutes, but it was actually several days. More recently, in season 15, she said she doesn’t want to be married to Kody anymore, though she hasn’t acted on those words yet, outside of a solo trip back to Utah.
During the COVID-19 lockdown, the wives seemed to use it as a way to make their own choices, despite Kody ordering them all to stay home while he freely traveled around. Janelle also refused to tell her children to stay home from their jobs or college and instead told Kody he needed to stay away to not risk spreading the disease to the family’s other households. Christine flat out refused to stay home against Kody’s orders. When Kody suggested his daughter put off her pain-relieving surgery to an unspecified time that was more convenient for him or even travel alone and do the surgery without family support, Christine rightly sided with her daughter and told Kody her daughter was having the surgery and she would be there.
The wives may pick up and move whenever the mood strikes Kody, and none of the women have divorced him yet, despite frequent rumors. But that doesn’t mean they are the quiet, submissive wives Kody seems to want, and that is the polygamist ideal. As the wives’ rebellions appear to be growing larger and more frequent, further seasons of Sister Wives promise to be packed with drama as audiences wait for the family to inevitably reach their breaking point.
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