Wife: I don't want to lie to you on your deathbed, yes I've been unfaithful to you on two occasions.
Husband: When was the first time?
Wife: Do you remember when we were not long married and we were refused a mortgage to buy our home? Well I went back to see the bank manager and convinced him to change his mind.
Husband: I understand and I forgive you because you did it with good intentions in your heart and we've had a lot of happy memories here. When was the second time?
Wife: Do you remember when you first ran for office and you were 2000 votes behind?
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